Nobodies Perfect

Flaw 

Definition: nounplural noun: flaws

1. a mark, blemish, or other imperfection which mars a substance or object. E.g. “a flaw in the glass”

synonyms: defect, blemish, fault, imperfection, deficiency, weakness, weak spot/point, inadequate, shortcoming, limitation, failure;

I don’t know a perfect person. I only know flawed people that are still worth loving. ‘ – John Green

Flaws, bad habits, I got them all. To actually acknowledge what bad habits you have is a great deal, so today’s post will be about my flaws. I have no idea where to start to be honest. Or how to lay out my content. Maybe in bulletpoints or an in depth piece on how I got these bad habits? Let’s see how it goes.

I’m stubborn, that’s a really bad habit, I don’t know how that started, I’ve been stubborn since I’ve been born; to when I was little to today. My parents get really annoyed with how stubborn I can be, I try to compromise and not be stubborn but it doesn’t work. I’m not stubborn in a spoiled sense, I’m stubborn in the sense that I will not give in easily. I forgive extremely easily, cause it’s not worth going to sleep at night with that burden on your chest, but I’m stubborn in the sense that I will not forget or trust you easily after that. I was never a naughty child when growing up, but the problem my parents had with me was the fact that I would never eat my meals, I was extremely stubborn when it would come to eat. If I said no, I said no. During my teen years, before my eating disorder, my dad would pay me £20 a day to eat, so obviously I’d be eating, breakfast, lunch and dinner. I’m still stubborn like that now, if I say no to something then it’s a no, you can’t change my mind. Same way to me saying yes, good luck trying to change my mind. I find it annoying myself, but I’m working on it to be less stubborn. But old habits die hard. 😉
When I’m thinking I bite my nails, it’s so disgusting but I do not even realise I’m doing it. I do it when I’m sitting in traffic, when I’m stressed or anxious. I have no control over it until I rip my nail off then I realise what I did. That habit started when I was in primary school, my mum tortured me to stop, (not in an abusive way, so whoever is reading this, do not call child services) she would tell me gross stories, and facts. Inform me how much bacteria was on my nails, she would chuck a pillow at me from a distance when she’d see me biting my nails, or there was another time she told me how some ‘girl’ would always bite her nails, and she grew insects in her stomach. I think that made me stop, till this day I have no idea if it’s true or not. But I still do it occasionally without realising.
I worry a lot, that’s another bad habit. I worry too much. I over think a situation, to a point I lose hair, I lose my appetite and make myself unwell. I’ve been under a lot of stress over the years, so when a situation arises I can’t help myself, my mind goes into overdrive and I start thinking about so many worse case scenarios, most of the time it isn’t even worrying about a worse case scenario, it’s the situation itself that I worry about so much that it worms itself way into my head and I struggle to get it out. I try to meditate to help me stay calm and relax, and over the years I’ve learnt to talk about situations that bother me otherwise it doesn’t end well for me and I get quite unwell.

Makeup addiction. Oh lord, those that know me will be all agreeing on this one loudly. I have such a bad makeup addiction spending habit. Like a REALLY bad spending habit. I will be on a budget on what I can buy on makeup, but that budget or restriction will not stop me. I will buy it, even when I tell myself ‘this is the last one for a long time’ or ‘I’m on a strictly no makeup buying ban’ then there’s a limited edition product out, and before I can stop myself, it’s BAM, confirmation order of my purchase in my emails. I haven’t always been like this, I was never so into makeup until 2014 where I had too much free time on my hands I would look at YouTube videos, and I also blame one of my friends, Sajna, who had a huge influence on me too. Like I said before, I need therapy for this addiction, but that costs money, so I’d rather spend that on makeup 😜

I curse a lot, (cursing as in swearing) I can’t help it, but it’s one of those things, just need to use a special word for some special people that just should not be existing. Like their stupidity. Their ignorance. It makes me feel suicidal so I cope by cursing. I’m trying to stop, some people find it so offensive to talk to me, they’re just wimps. I’d use another word to describe them, but I’m trying to keep my blog curse free..

That is all I can think of for now, those that know me, if you have any suggestions on what bad habits I might have. I don’t want to hear it ☺️
Stay tuned for more posts, and follow me on Instagram @imonafwonders 🍁

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